We sit in the lantern light late into the night and the tears stream. We sit broken and I choke out the ugly words, words that have been there but I have been too appalled to voice, “I think sometimes, I am afraid to trust the will of God.” Ugly sin. All these shortcomings, all these iniquities, I let them flow. “I mean. I do trust Him. But sometimes I am still afraid of what He might bring next.”
These words were written by someone I admire greatly but have never met. From time to time, I read her blog and feel convicted that I am not doing more with my life. She gave up everything to serve God, and He has done amazing things in her life. When I read that she has felt the same conflicting emotions I can’t seem to shake, I feel a little better.
I still feel broken, but I know He has not stopped working on me.
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